I Knew It Was Coming

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kiddos

It’s finally here and I knew it was coming! The monster in my stomach that has me ready to puke. Oh, it’s very real and I am quickly coming to the reality that it is going to be here for a while.

My kids are growing up too fast and I am starting to see signs of them leaving and going out into the world without me. Don’t get me wrong, I want them to get out there and make friends, succeed in what they do, and strive for huge goals as a father…BUT….Daddy is not ready.

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I look back on my teenage years and realize that I am really lucky to be alive. Seriously, I had no business doing some of the things that I did back then. Also, if you listen to my wife tell it, she was ten times worse than me. So, as we finish our third or fourth week as parents of a Freshman and a sixth grader, I can’t help wondering…will I survive?

I’ve always been protective. I see things that could happen ten steps ahead of time. It’s like I’m waiting on it. I thought that I was just being crazy but I asked the question to a bunch of guys I know in a dad blogger group and it’s pretty normal. At least we think so.

So why is my stomach in knots? I guess mostly because I’m not going to be there all of the time to protect them. They are going to sleepovers where there are adults that I may not know, they are riding in cars driven by other teenagers, they are going to places with lots of people, they are giving their hearts to people. They are my kids and I want them to be safe, I don’t want their hearts broken, and I don’t want them to depend on us to succeed either.

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I guess, if you look at it, I just have to understand that we have taught them the best that we could to this point in their lives. We just have to hope that it was all that they needed for the first phase. It’s important to be there now to help them pick up the pieces and learn how to maneuver through the next phase of their lives. Can I be strong enough for them right now? Absolutely I can and I will. I just hope that they decide to do some things a bit different than mom and dad.

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